I've spent a lot of time thinking about my dreams, my goals, the things that I desire, the things that Drive me. It's been a time of self evaluation. Some of it good, and some of it terrible. It's hard to think that I can want something that would be detrimental to what I truly want to do.
It's an expression of this battle that's waging with in me. This battle that is the world fighting to come forward, and then the God that I serve claiming ground that is already his. My dreams, my Goals, my Desires are grounds that God owns. They are things that he has complete control over, when I'm On. By being "on" I mean to say when I'm making an effort, when I'm walking in the Light ( 1 John 1) when I'm sincerely taking steps to grow closer to God. When I'm on. It's a beautiful thing. I trust that though I'm stretched thin I'll find rest, and even abundance. I believe that what I got is a good thing, it's a blessing and a strength. I love like no tomorrow. When I'm on I love God, my Family, my Friends, and Dani like there's no tomorrow. Funny, how when I'm close to God I over flow with love. . . isn't that the general idea? It's not a new concept to me, just a newer experience. It's a good thing. Something I wish I could do every day. Yet, I'm human so I fail. But I don't have to. I don't have to fail.
And I certainly and sick and tired of thinking that all I can do is fail. Its garbage. Satan is telling me that all I can do is fail. That I'm not good enough. Started with trust, telling me that noone can love me as my heart desires, that I can't be trusted to love like someone deserves or wants. He told me I wasn't going to do what I love, that I couldn't stand under the weight of what I really wanted to do So I quit. He's told me before that I'm going to fail at ministry, that I'm going to be nothing. I know it's him telling me that because God wouldn't tell me I'm going to fail at ministry, he'd simply change my ministry direction into something that I'm going to succeed at. This is where my heart is. Teaching Truth. Living every day to grow to be more like Christ. Living within the knowledge of the Grace that I don't deserve.
I'm done looking at myself as a failure. And I'm certainly done looking back and saying that God is the reason I have not done the things I love, or why things failed when I desperately wanted them to succeed. I blame myself and my gullibility for my failures, for believing that I couldn't do it. I'm jumping over a fence and I like the view on this side.
Jump with me? Come over? See how God can work in your life when you Let Go and acknowledge that He is Supreme, Sovereign, Loving, Kind, Good, Holy, and Perfect LORD. Come Grow closer to God with me, walk with me through the Light. And tell Satan to Go to Hell.